To answer the question at hand simply, sex before marriage is always wrong. Though our culture celebrates sexual promiscuity, God calls us to live lives of sexual purity. There are four questions that generally come up when talking about the topic of sexual purity: Why is it wrong? What do you mean by sex? What do you mean by purity? And, how can I be pure?

Why is it wrong? 

As we have already talked about, we can trust that the Bible is inspired by God and provides relevant information for our lives. You can read a summary of the argument for this here. Therefore, first and foremost, the Bible forbids sexual activity outside of marriage. But, why?

A principle that we have used throughout the Contend series is relevant here as well, and that is “anything that perverts the original intent and design of the creator is sin.” If we take what God has made and do things with it that he did not intend, it is sin, and it is not going to work the best way possible. So, why was sex created?

Sex was created for a husband and wife to enjoy three things: Recreation, Unification and Procreation.

1. Recreation

God is not against pleasure. He created sex so that a husband and a wife could enjoy each other. Sex is not meant to be seen as dirty or displeasurable; it should be a joyful, great thing for married couples to enjoy together.

2. Unification

When a man and woman become involved sexually, they form a unique unity. They are spiritually, emotionally and physically bonded by the act of sex. Sex is like a glue that bonds married couples together.

3. Procreation

The most obvious function of sex is that it creates children. Children are a gift from God, and sex is the means by which they are brought into the world.

However, sex outside of marriage does not produce these things in the way that God intended them. God knew what he was doing in designing sex for marriage because the recreation, unification and procreation of two people can be most fulfilling and work best within a strong committed relationship.

What do you mean by sex? And, what do you mean by purity? 

One of the first questions on anyone’s lips about purity is, “How far is too far? How much can we get away with without it being sin?” When it comes down to it, the bible gives very high standards for sexual purity. The definition of purity that Jason gave on Wednesday night was this, “Any sexual pleasure that you receive from anyone or anything outside of marriage is wrong and is sin before God.”

That is an incredibly high standard, but again, if God has designed sexuality to work this way, it will be the best plan. It will be the most joyful way to experience sex.

How can I be pure? 

On June 11th, Levi Lusko came and preached a message about sexual purity. In addressing how to be sexually pure, he gave seven points. They are listed here below with some explanation:

1. Purpose in your heart to not sin before God (Daniel 1:8)

2. Make a covenant with your eyes (Job 31:1)

3. Don’t forget your sword (Matthew 4)

  • Memorize Scripture and fight temptation with it

4. Be a Snakebird (Matthew 10:16)

  • Be as innocent as a dove and as wise as serpents. Be dependent on God, but also be wise in the way that you live your life.

5. Run away (2 Timothy 2:22)

  • The best way to fight temptation that is too strong is to run away from it

6. Hold out for honor

  • Don’t settle for second best, but wait for the person that God has for you.

7. Get back up (Psalm 51)

  • We are never going to be perfect, so we need to stand strong in the grace of God every time we fall.

Listen to the audio message by clicking here.

Recommended Resources:

Sex is not the Problem, Lust is by Joshua Harris 

Sex & Money by Paul Tripp 

Wired for Intimacy by William M. Struthers

Article: Anthem by John Piper

 Sex, Dating, and Relationships by  Gerald Hiestand and Jay Thomas

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